10:18 a.m. - 2004-05-11
this is a crazy, crazy feeling in my head
Oh my Gawd. Life is so crazy on finals week, but I wasn't really expecting such zany things to happen as have happened.
Let's evaluate:
1.) I've already got my destined-to-not-work-out rebound crush. The gorgeous, intelligent, maybe secretly gay or gay-ish, 20 year-old drug dealer boy. Really, it's more like he's just a partner in a weird little lifestyle. So cute. He has been responsible for all the mushrooms I've done this year. He is also one of the smartest and the cutest person in my creative writing class. Made the connection of these two things while I tried not to kiss him at the movie-on-the-wall of Saturday night. It's never going to happen, but it feels good to get at someone's mystery a little more. Also, it's just good to know I can still have crushes. I childishly assumed I would be heartbroken forevs. Phew.
2.) I just woke up about twenty minutes after my art history final started. I didn't actually study at all, just walked in and took it. I can do poorly and still get a B in the class, so I'm all right with it. It's just an urge I'm having of late, to apologize to my profs, because I have loved their classes but been way too crazy and unfocused to even really deal with school, outside of the distant abstract.
3.) Thinking about actually moving to Seattle is pretty fucking scary, dudes, can I even tell you? I don't know how to do this, not really. I was assuming the my housing, provided by The Nicest Woman Who Has Ever Lived, was going to be free. But everyone's Q1 is: 'You're paying her rent, right?' Jesus. I thought she was rich and trying to be benevolent. She has landscapers at this place, why would she want me to pay rent if she's paying people to keep up a house no one lives in?! It's just weird thinking about the end of my time in Missoula. And graduation. And adulthood.
4.) My social world, which formerly was my world but is only semi-all-encompassing these days, is in such crazy disarray. I don't know how I'm going to find time for everyone to have their proper goodbyes (unless I throw a huge party...mmmm...yes!) because the time is short. Like, a little over three weeks from today style. I've barely seen my salvationieres, AKA Ms. N and E-Liz, who probably don't even dally with blog-reading, but I still miss them terribly, in spite of these crimes. I have been hanging out with Josh and Jared all the time, in their stead (not replacing you, loves, just replacing my desire to be with people at all time). Those boys fucking rock, though. Our agendas are crazily similar: we are all culturally accelerated lads, who dress fucking more bomb than anyone else, listen to sweet music, make outrageously clever quips, get by on little to no work and function primarily on charm, b.s. and cleverness. Also, we get wasted together constantly and keep good pace with another, so it's pretty much a match made in heaven. These kids have crept into the Top Ten 'Miss-You-Most' list with little to no effort over the last few months. Bless 'em.
5.) I'm really going to miss free treats. Since I know everyone everywhere in this town, I've been getting free coffee, drinks, lunches...FUCK, I even won $42 bucks at the shitty casion yesterday. I put in $2 and scored pretty close to instantly. The immediate urge is to just buy a sack, but I really need new headphones.
Okay, I'm over this. Why am I still on campus, am I ill?!
