12:52 a.m. - 2004-04-28
sleep-depravity
Every time I tell myself I don't really believe in love, I realize it's becoming more and more true.
I was DEEPLY DISAPPOINTED in the crush, whose total disregard for anyone else kept me at work until 4 am, so I decided to stay up round the clock to get the rest of my school shit done. All of which I failed in, to one degree or another.
I just hate seeing him fall so short of the person I thought he was, or could be. He is looking like one of those homos that goes around projecting their desperate need to be in love onto anyone who will stand still with them long enough. He could really be a great person, if he was strong enough.
But he's not, and that's what seems to be hardest. Is that I believed in him enough to care...far more than I should...and now not only do I feel like I hallucinated chemistry in the first place, but that I saw him as anything more than he is.
Ah! Whatevs. I'm trying to find the positive. I'm high, I'm going to watch the trailer for Mean Girls, and I'll actually have time to sleep tonight. Yay.
